Imagine yourself transported back 300 years. How would a typical workday look? Most likely, it would center around agriculture, with duties adjusted according to the seasons. It might involve working hard in agricultural fields from sunrise to sunset, or engaging in indoor activities while awaiting the arrival of spring.

Leap forward to 150 years ago. The revolutionary impact of the Industrial Revolution drastically altered workers’ lives, leading many to relocate to cities. Instead of caring for crops and overseeing farmland, the average worker now adhered to fixed schedules in a factory.

This transition from an agricultural to an industrial economy caused profound global changes. Governments spent decades grappling with the repercussions of these changes and reestablishing stability. People faced immense challenges when attempting to open their minds radically, as it is an difficult endeavor requiring great effort.

The period of transition from the domestic to the factory system of industry and from the older to the new farming conditions was one of almost unrelieved misery for those who could not integrate into the new economy, whether due to lack of capital or lack of physical or mental adaptability.

— Rick Bookstaber

Fast forward to today, we stand at the brink of another monumental shift — the digital transformation powered by artificial intelligence (AI). This transition may call for strategies such as universal basic income (UBI) to counter job losses. However, it also risks depriving people of the satisfaction, accomplishment, and challenges work provides, where many invest a significant part of their lives. Therefore, understanding why we work, how this shift affects us psychologically, and redefining success are crucial. This article aims to shed light on these issues, offering insight into the future.

The Origins of Work Ethic

Let’s delve into the history of work. Have you ever pondered the roots of our work ethic and motivation?

1. Historical Belief

Firstly, there’s the long-held belief in the virtue of work. For centuries, religious and moral teachings have conditioned us to associate work with virtue. Puritans, 16th-century English Protestant Christians, regarded labor as both a means of redemption and a form of punishment, thus valuable beyond its productive outcomes. This ideology persisted beyond the Industrial Revolution.

In response to a perceived moral decline in the new industrial society, Scottish essayist Thomas Carlyle argued that labor should not merely be seen as a means to fulfill material needs, though it does fulfill them. According to Carlyle:

All work, even cotton-spinning, is noble; work alone is noble […] for this is the noblest thing yet discovered under God’s sky.

This belief system continues to significantly influence us today. The self-esteem and dignity of most people are deeply tied to their work. When we ask someone at a social gathering, “Hey, what do you do?” We don’t expect them to reply, “Ah, I absolutely love gardening.” People’s identities are often tied to their profession.

2. Capitalist Belief

Secondly, there’s the capitalist notion of perpetual growth.

Capitalism, through ingenious advertising, compels us to work relentlessly to acquire goods we never knew we wanted. From the 1950s, advertisers began to incorporate psychological techniques into their tactics. Advertising persuades us that genuine human needs, like social acceptance or cultural identity, can be purchased. This message is difficult to ignore: one study showed that by 18, the average American will have seen roughly 350,000 advertisements.

To become aware and be able to act mindfully, the cycle of hedonic adaptation (also known as the hedonic treadmill) should be well understood. Below is a simplified version for an easier understanding:

1. See: We see a product advertisement which influences us unconsciously

2. Want: As a result, we desire the product

3. Buy: We buy the product to quench the desire

4. Happy: We are happy as we own the product but only for a short while, as such pleasures are fleeting

5. Adapt: We no longer experience the same level of pleasure and we start seeking more possessions to regain initial happiness. Return to step one and repeat with no end

As above, running on the hedonic treadmill is a never-ending cycle — working makes us feel deserving of a reward, like a designer coffee or a favorite premium drink. To afford the things we think might satisfy us, we need to retain our jobs. It’s a system designed for the perpetuation of capitalism at the societal level, but this brings the question — would the same system benefit us at the personal level?

The Challenges of Work

While the system has its advantages at the societal level, such as contributing to a country’s prosperity, it may overlook individual-level elements.

1. Overemphasis on Productivity

Firstly, immersing ourselves too deeply in work might cause us to lose sight of the bigger picture.

A culture that overemphasizes productivity doesn’t just persuade us to ignore leisure time; it also encourages us to mindlessly focus on means like money instead of ends. Specifically, concentrating on how much we accomplish can lead us to neglect what we accomplish — many of us are so focused on ticking off tasks that we’ve stopped asking whether the things we’re doing genuinely make us happier.

By prioritizing work efficiency and output, we often find ourselves neglecting more significant end goals such as nurturing our relationships with family and pursuing personal growth.

2. Absence of Purpose

Secondly, although I have emphasized in a previous post the significance of loving what you do as the yang aspect, it is essential to acknowledge the yin aspect of the yin-yang principle — we inherently seek a higher purpose in the work we do, but for many, working is merely a means to an end, the paycheck.

In the 1965 book Maslow on Management, Abraham Maslow suggests that work should be seen as a primary source of self-actualization, stating that “work is not a curse, but a human blessing.” However, many of us don’t view work this way.

Let's go back a bit further in time. Karl Marx, renowned for Marxism, agreed with the idea that individuals find self-realization through work. Despite the controversy, he depicted work as a means through which humans intentionally modify the natural environment to enhance the possibilities of human life. As an author of influential works on society, economics, and politics, Marx was a passionate advocate for the intrinsic value of work, which he believed extended beyond mere financial compensation. He argued that capitalism deprived people of this value, stating that "the production of too many useful things results in too many useless people."

In fact, Adam Smith, the patriarch of capitalist thought, also acknowledged that the pursuit of wealth and fame does not necessarily lead to true fulfillment, and it can sicken and decay our other pleasures.

From The Theory of Moral Sentiments by Adam Smith:

To those who have been accustomed to the possession, or even to the hope of public admiration, all other pleasures sicken and decay. […] This disposition to admire, and almost to worship, the rich and the powerful, and to despise, or, at least, to neglect persons of poor and mean condition, though necessary both to establish and to maintain the distinction of ranks and the order of society, is, at the same time, the great and most universal cause of the corruption of our moral sentiments.

In addition to his renowned book The Wealth of Nations, which forms the foundation of capitalism, he also authored a lesser-known book called The Theory of Moral Sentiments. This work touches upon the subject of the pursuit of wealth and its relationship to human sentiments and moral principles. However, The latter is often overshadowed by his influential work on economics and is not as widely discussed.

Coming back to present times, in a recent book Bullsh*t Jobs, David Graeber illustrates how many jobs in our society don’t contribute to society’s well-being or the individual’s self-actualization. He states that many jobs are “so completely pointless, unnecessary, or pernicious that even the employee cannot justify its existence.”

Today, many people feel their jobs are meaningless, which leads to a lack of motivation and overall dissatisfaction with life. According to a 2017 Gallup poll, only 15% of workers globally are “engaged” in their jobs, meaning they are emotionally invested in and focused on their work.

Work should be about more than just earning a paycheck; it should provide a sense of purpose and fulfillment. When it doesn’t, we may feel unfulfilled, leading to lower productivity and satisfaction with life in general. (The matter is made worse as we explore the profound shift of work in the next point, which “eliminates” work altogether.)

3. The Next Mega-change “from Work to No Work”

As we delve deeper into the subject of purpose, let’s remember the upcoming mega-change we touched on at the beginning — the digital transformation and automation powered by artificial intelligence.

According to the founding editor of Wired magazine, Kevin Kelly, 70% of today’s jobs will become obsolete before the end of the century. Whether you’re a lawyer, or an IT professional like me, the ongoing wave of automation could potentially endanger your profession.

Even traditional occupations like plumbing could be automated, as computers are trained to assemble standard components. This mass unemployment could have severe repercussions. Not only will people lose their income, but the social interaction and sense of purpose that work provides could be lost as well.

Imagine spending a lifetime fine-tuning your skills, only to be outperformed by a computer after just a few weeks on the job! Unemployment is directly correlated with elevated rates of alcoholism, depression, and suicide. The societal consequences could be devastating.

Suggestion — Strive for Excellence Rather Than Success

In the era of transformation, it’s crucial to consider not just how we work but why we work. It’s a chance to redefine success, to move away from the capitalist notion of perpetual growth and towards a more holistic understanding of well-being and self actualization that is not contingent on unreliable external validation.

At the personal level, there is a common suggestion to address both the lack of meaning in work and the potential job losses due to artificial intelligence — pursuing excellence.

For ages, success has been equated with material wealth under capitalism. But another philosophy exists — that the pursuit of excellence, as opposed to material success, brings about the kind of rewards that truly enrich life.

What would you choose — success or excellence? While they might seem synonymous, they hold different meanings according to Ryan Hawk’s book The Pursuit of Excellence.

• Success is relative, depending on comparisons with others, whereas excellence is an internal gauge.

• Success can be fleeting and often hinges on factors beyond your control. Hence, pursuing success can end up being unsatisfying. In contrast, striving for excellence is more rewarding and satisfying.

As a result, chasing success can end up being unsatisfying. The more satisfying and rewarding pursuit is excellence.

The only comparison I should be making is with myself.

1. Will I be better tomorrow than I am today?

2. Will I be more thoughtful, more intentional, more purposeful in the future than I am right now?

3. Do my habits, routines, rituals, and actions match my intention to be better tomorrow than I am today?

These questions are the gateway to excellence because living a life of excellence is about the fanatical pursuit of gradual improvement.

— Ryan Hawk

In essence, the pursuit of excellence provides a sense of purpose and meaning, regardless of your circumstances. And that’s exactly what a fulfilling and satisfying life requires: purpose. You only need to strive to be better today than you were yesterday.

While the upcoming profound shift in work might distance workers from seeking purpose in their professional lives, pursuing personal excellence — where we become self-actualized and self-aware — hence more empathetic towards ourselves and, in turn, others, may help us adapt to the AI economy. Interestingly, according to Andrew McAfee, an MIT economist, jobs involving human interaction, such as social work and mental health therapy, will likely persist too.

Conclusion

Although each of us is unique, for a long time, society has pressured us to be mindless work machines, where individuals have tied their purpose, identity, and life’s meaning to their nine-to-five jobs. Furthermore, many people tie their happiness to the unfulfilling hedonic lifestyle and material wealth, clinging to the hedonic treadmill without realizing it. Hence, the mass unemployment that could result from artificial intelligence may trigger deep existential concerns.

The future of work is not just about the transition to artificial intelligence. It’s also about working with a sense of purpose, which will be increasingly essential as governments may start providing their citizens with “financial freedom” in the form of universal basic income. However, this won’t address the underlying need for purpose. Each of us will need to introspect and redefine what is truly meaningful.

We need to remember that work is not the end goal but a means to an end. It’s an opportunity for self-expression, for contributing to society, and for personal growth. By keeping these things in mind, we can create a fulfilling future with or without traditional work, where our daily activities are not just about survival but about thriving; for example, pursuing personal excellence instead of traditional success.

Derren Brown said this in his best-selling Stoicism book, Happy:

What counts is not the work but our relationship to it. Schopenhauer, refreshingly, ascribed far more importance to what one does with one’s leisure. The ideal he describes […] is to be wealthy enough to have expansive free time and the intellectual capabilities to fill it with contemplation and activity in the service of mankind. It may not be our work but rather what we do with the rest of our time that gives us our true sense of worth. We might choose to identify far more with our hobby of paragliding, or the daily demands and rewards of trying to be a good-enough father or mother. In the meantime, we can stop asking people what they do for a living and recognise it for the meaningless and frequently discouraging enquiry that it is.

As we continue to navigate this shift, let’s keep asking ourselves: why do we work, and what sort of activities bring us fulfillment and happiness?

I empathize not everyone can derive meaning from their work, especially in the upcoming AI era, so I wish you a fulfilling life, whether you find purpose in your work or in other aspects of life. ❤️️

“New opinions are always suspected, and usually opposed, without any other reason but because they are not already common.” — John Locke

Likewise, it would be hard for people from before to imagine “normal” things back then like slavery would be gone. 

With that realization, let’s imagine 150 years later — let’s just try — what is so normal today would be critically judged by others in the future? It is not those things that matter here, but whether you would be open enough to accept novel ideas — would you be able to handle the shocking shift of reality? Would you be able to embrace dramatic changes to what we’ve always believed?

“In a time of drastic change, it is the learners who inherit the future. The learned usually find themselves equipped to live in a world that no longer exists.” — Eric Hoffer

Back to today’s topic, Open Your Mind, I would like to share a few ways how we can be more open, more accepting of change, in the hopes that diversity is welcomed and good new ideas are less suppressed, while human beings with different beliefs can live in harmony despite our differences.

What Causes a Closed Mind

I will first list 3 causes from technological to human characteristics that make you and me more close-minded. In a later section, I will share 3 suggestions to them with references from a number of books and thinkers. Let’s begin!

1. Recommendation Algorithms on Social Media

First, social media is said to be a significant cause of polarization in our society, as technology optimizes our web and app experiences with cookies to track our interests, and reflecting them back to us in the content we see. As an IT professional in the industry, I’ve witnessed the prevalence and power of the recommendation algorithms myself.

Prior to the Internet era, people consume news from the same TV channels and newspapers. Nowadays, we do so via a personalized feed unique to each of us. Polarizing points of view are then developed as we rarely get any exposure to contradictory opinions. Worse, some sources are not only biased but even fabricated. Homogeneity has made us more closed-minded.

“In an increasingly polarized world, being able to step outside your comfort zone and consider other perspectives and ideas is important.” — Kendra Cherry

2. Upbringing

As human beings, we are cultural by nature. No matter where you and I are born and raised, the social norms, ideas and customs of our community, as part of our culture, will inevitably affect the way we think and act throughout our lives.

“Cultural irrationality is deeply entrenched in the lives of all of us, and because of culturally imposed blinders, our view of the world does not normally transcend the limits imposed by our culture. We are in effect stuck with the program culture imposes.” — Edward T. Hall

According to Beyond Culture by anthropologist Edward T. Hall, we start to learn from our environment from the moment we are born, suiting the cultural context around us. After a certain amount of time, things we have learned develop into ingrained habits and beliefs. Finally, they become almost automatic as if they are embedded in us. By adulthood, they have become unconscious behaviors which are internalized within our established minds.

For example, we might learn that beautiful and skinny people are those who experience a happy life. Although standards like beauty vary everywhere, what is universal among all human beings is that we put various labels like these on the people we encounter. This is “a natural tendency,” says psychologist Deborah Tannen.

“We must see the world in patterns in order to make sense of it; we wouldn’t be able to deal with the daily onslaught of people and objects if we couldn’t predict a lot about them and feel that we know who and what they are.” — Deborah Tannen

Unfortunately, our established minds may judgmentally punish ourselves and others for not fulfilling the various ‘shoulds’, ignoring anything new that doesn’t align instead of embracing change, and over time, we lose our ability to behave in accordance with our natural human tendencies — the unselfconscious toddler deep within each and every one of us.

3. Unconscious Biases

Research has shown that about half of our time is spent on autopilot. This is beneficial in many ways. Unconscious cognitive mechanisms like the 50 ones recently tweeted by Elon Musk enable us to smoothly navigate the world after birth. However, this comes with some slightly negative side effects. Naturally, unconscious forces affect our memories, perceptions and judgments.

Regardless of how open-minded you consider yourself to be, you most likely have biases formed during your upbringing and life as everybody else. For example, we are hardwired to disregard information which doesn’t fit our preconceived worldview, and instead seek information that does due to confirmation bias.

Another example is negativity bias. Many media outlets puts a negative spin on the news to catch attention. They know that we have a tendency towards negativity— we focus more on a negative news story than a positive one. The explanation for this is our survival instinct, which dates back to ancient times where our ancestors had to keep staying alerted to bad things in order to survive. That’s why we pay more attention when a friend talks about an experience of confronting a shark to avoid a similar accident. Many media exploit our natural human attention for bad news by disproportionately focusing more on the negative than the positive side of things. Being led to thinking misery is everywhere, it’s no wonder why we feel unhappy and anxious reading the news.

How to Free an Established Mind

Next comes 3 suggestions to the problems.

1. Be Radically Open-minded and See Things in the Higher Level

“To be effective you must not let your need to be right to be more important than your need to find out what’s true.” — Ray Dalio

First, it is natural to feel pressured to defend what we think is right, but that prevents us from seeking an accurate understanding of reality, or truth, which Ray Dalio — billionaire investor, entrepreneur and the author of Principles — says is the essential foundation for producing good outcomes.

Therefore, Ray Dalio recommends being radically open-minded, which requires us to replace our attachment to always being right with the joy of learning what’s true. By remaining radically open to new information and developing an accurate picture of the world, we won’t miss important perspectives which would’ve otherwise prevented us from tapping into our fullest potentials, even if what we end up believing tomorrow isn’t what we believe today.

“Every time you confront something painful, you are at a potentially important juncture in your life — you have the opportunity to choose healthy and painful truth or unhealthy but comfortable delusion.” — Ray Dalio

Ray Dalio also suggests we should see things from the higher level, looking down at yourself and others as part of a system, looking down on the full array of viewpoints not in own possessive way but as an objective observer in order to assess them in an idea-meritocratic way, where thoughts are openly expressed for great ideas to emerge.

Don’t be afraid of the pain caused. It’s this level of open-mindedness that got the company founded by Ray Dalio, Bridgewater Associate, to be the world’s largest hedge fund and the fifth most important private company in the US according to Fortune Magazine.

“When there is pain, the animal instinct is ‘fight or flight’ — reflect instead. When you can calm yourself down, thinking about the dilemma that is causing you pain will bring you to a higher level and enlighten you, leading to progress.” — Ray Dalio

2. Force Ourselves to Justify Our Strong Opinions

Due to one of the biases, Dunning-Kruger Effect, being less skillful at a certain task can make us less likely to recognize we are incompetent.

According to the book Moral Tribes by Joshua Greene, most controversial real-world moral problems are very complicated. Despite this, we tend to maintain strong opinions on these topics even when we don’t grasp the fundamentals.

To mitigate this natural tendency, try this tip — force ourselves to justify why we disagree, and, if we struggle, accept our ignorance on the matter, so that we can be more receptive to others’ views.

“In an ideal world, we’d all transform ourselves into experts and make judgements based on extensive knowledge. Given that this will never happen, our next best option is to emulate the wisdom of Socrates: We become wiser when we acknowledge our ignorance.” — Joshua Greene

It is not shameful but admirable to confront our ignorance as no human being is perfect or good in all areas after all.

3. Reframe Our Expression

Being radically open-minded or more receptive doesn’t mean we should blindly accept any new information without healthy skepticism. As thinking in the higher level does help, here comes the third suggestion which elaborates further on that — express our opinions using our own language. 

In the book Making Sense, author Sam Harris had a conversation with historian Timothy Snyder. The book states that human beings aren’t truly free if we aren’t able to discuss the issues of the day in our own words. All too often, we repeat the framing mechanisms, words and sound bites on television.

“One test of whether you are a free person is whether you can change your mind.” — Timothy Snyder

To better communicate with others, we have to contemplate and reframe our concerns in an intensely personal manner. Doing so will help us show people different ways to view issues, and our conversations will feel more authentic as well.

Let’s Summarize

In summary, we discussed the need to be more aware of recommendations algorithms of social media, our upbringing, unconscious biases, and 3 suggestions:

1. Be radically open-minded and see things in the higher level.

2. Force ourselves to justify our strong opinions.

3. Reframe our expression.

Being open-minded is admirable and helpful amid the recent tensions with the world, but uneasy because it is against human nature as you have seen. By being aware of what limits us like what was discussed and taking steps in improving our habits to achieve what was suggested, little by little, we may be able to reconnect to the non-judgmental toddler in all of us. 

One More Thing

“Oh, being open-minded is too hard,” says our resisting inner feeling brains.

I can emphasize, my friend. So, here’s a little more on that.

“Recognize that many people cannot see things from the higher level… Values and abilities are unlikely to change much.” — Ray Dalio

As open-minded as we can try to be, due to the explained facts that human beings are wired differently from birth and upbringing where different fundamental perspectives are shaped, and that we are limited by our unconscious biases, it is inevitable for us to have formed different core beliefs and behaviors that are difficult, if not impossible, to change.

“Personality cannot be changed much, if at all.” — Mark Manson

For example (a light-hearted dialogue to cheer you up 😊), some prefer to see one another in a positive light:

“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble.”

Some prefer the opposite:

“I prefer to believe the worst. It saves useless expenditure of sympathy.”

And some prefer somewhere around the middle, etc.

It is not entirely anyone’s fault, although we are still responsible for our own actions.

If we are equipped with clarity, we may be able to empathize and realize not everyone would be capable of changing what is already embedded deeply in them without their control. To live harmoniously with one another, it may be wiser for us human beings to focus on what common values we share and respectfully agree to disagree on the rest.

“It’s easy to find reasons for division between people. Finding common ground is harder, but a step towards happiness.” — Unknown

Once we’ve solidified our common ground, who knows? Maybe we would be more open-minded to each other’s opinions.

If there had to be a one-line takeaway from this post, learn from the nature — be the ocean.

“Be like the calm ocean, which is inclusive of all rivers and seas, and that’s why it becomes the ocean.” — Unknown

Next Reading Suggestion — Communicate with Empathy

The post Communicate with Empathy originally published on Curious was a research on empathy I did amid the tensions in the US in early 2021. This may help because being open-minded involves being empathetic.

According to one of the biases, in-group favoritism, we have a tendency to favor people who are in our in-group as opposed to an out-group. The aforementioned book Moral Tribes also suggests that human’s ability to cooperate between groups still leaves much room for improvement — evolution has provided us with the skills to cooperate within groups, but not between groups. The history of conflict is a reminder of that. Therefore, understanding how to communicate with empathy is crucial in resolving conflicts as well as being open to others’ views.

By the way, emphasizing consumes our emotional resources. Therefore, care for yourself by examining your emotional capacity first. Mindfulness exercises like the RAIN method (recognize, accept, investigate, nurture) in the post may help.

May the beginner’s mind be with you. ❤️

“To be a value investor, you have to be willing—and able—to suffer pain.” — Jean Marie Eveillard

Therefore, it attracted me, someone enthusiastic in personal growth to research about it. With references from numerous books, Chinese wisdoms and stock examples such as the recently suffering Alibaba, today’s introductory post explores how the challenging mindset in the world of value investing can lead to not only financial success but personal growth.

Some of the main questions answered are:

• How value investors stay intelligent amid downturns.

• How suffering companies and people that reinvest in themselves may succeed in the future.

• How value investing can help with personal well-being.

Without further ado, let's pivot to the investing world to discover how to locate peace of mind!

Value Investing vs. Speculation

Would you prefer having enough money to retire right at the beginning of your life, or would you prefer experiencing life first, making your way from the bottom and then finally getting enough money to make a decent life?

In terms of investing, I would say the former is comparable to having a one-time huge gain in a speculative investment, like winning big at the casino, while the latter is more founded, like value investment which requires a lot of patience as the stock may stay stagnant or go down until company potentials are realized or fundamentals further improve in the future.

“Value investing is the discipline of buying securities at a significant discount from their current underlying values and holding them until more of their value is realized.” — Seth Klarman

Most people including myself may be tempted to choose the quick option — who wouldn’t want an “easy life” after all? However, as with all things that sound too good to be true, they often have negative consequences hidden from the surface, from financial consequences like being too late to get out of a bubble, to personal consequences such as erosion of character from chasing market hype.

“Consciously paying more for a stock than its calculated value — in the hope that it can soon be sold for a still-higher price — should be labelled speculation” — Warren Buffett

Read on and we will explore more aspects, then we will come back to this question “value investment vs speculation” again at the end.

Alibaba — Charlie Munger’s Challenging Value Investment

Let’s take this stock, Alibaba ($BABA), as an example of a tough value investment. Warren Buffet and his right-hand man Charlie Munger are famous value investors. Munger has found Alibaba to be undervalued, buying shares worth tens of millions when the stock, $BABA, was around 228 USD per share in April 2021, yet the stock kept on dropping over 60% since then. He then went on buying more as the it dipped further.

As of today, April 2022 (approximately one year later), despite having rebalanced the portfolio, Charlie Munger’s Daily Journal still holds a decent portion (15.35%) of Alibaba, as a long-term investor like him believes in the company value and stock will return to its deterministic value in the long run.

Wouldn’t it be hard for anyone to have such an amount of confidence in a huge bet that has been suffering greatly, not to mention further buying on dips multiple times as Charlie Munger did?

So, how do value investors cope with stocks going down, have faith and be mentally tough to make intelligent decisions during the lowest lows of a market cycle, before things finally work out? And what can we learn from them?

“Value investing is simple to understand but difficult to implement… Investors need discipline to avoid the many unattractive pitches that are thrown, patience to wait for the right pitch, and judgement to know when it is time to swing.” — Seth Klarman

Taoist Philosophy — Lose by Gaining, Gain by Losing

Introducing a Chinese philosophy which helps long-term investors stay calm and faithful with their value investment even when things are bad in the short term.

Who loves losing money? To those who don’t, including myself, I would challenge you — one needs to love losing in order to gain.

To demonstrate this point, let me introduce you to two interesting stock ticker symbols, $YINN and $YANG (not recommendations).

These stock tickers are risky derivatives (3x leveraged ETFs) which track a broad Chinese index, one is positive (bullish), betting on stocks going up, and one is negative (bearish), betting on stocks going down. Can you guess which one is positive?

If you heard of the yin-yang principle — nature is made up of opposing but complementary energy and forces  like dark and light— naturally you would think yang, the stock ticker $YANG, is positive right? Because the Chinese word yang (陽/阳/☀️) means the sun, which is the brighter side of things?

However, to people’s surprise, it is yin, the stock ticker $YINN, that bets on Chinese stocks going up instead.

Why is that so? Doesn’t the Chinese word yin (陰/阴/🌑) means darkness? It doesn’t make any sense! Right?

In fact, it does. From the book, The Dao of Capital by Mark Spitznagel, you need to love to lose money, hating to make it. The wisdom of the paradox is from a methodology similar to value investing — Austrian investing — which dates back to the ancient Chinese philosophy of Taoism (also known as Daoism). In Taoism, you gain by losing and lose by gaining because the best way to things is through the opposite.

This model pursues a roundabout route to stock market success. Rather than following a direct route towards immediate gain, it takes the more roundabout path towards immediate loss. Such pursuit of loss is akin to yielding in tuishou (tui shou/推手), which is the Chinese exercise of pushing hands.

Tuishou practitioners pull back and experience short-term losses so that they would be able to gain a more advantageous position for the future.

This is like the Taoist/Daoist concept of wuwei (wu wei/無為/无为), which is more commonly known in the west as the flow state, meaning effortless action or non-action. Its idea is profiting from impatient investors who are intolerant of small losses and urgent to obtain immediate profits.

“…in terms of temperament, what we think we value more than most other investors is patience. We have a five-year average holding period. We like to plant seeds and then watch the trees grow, and our portfolio is often kind of a portrait of inactivity.“ — Matthew McLennan

Robinson Crusoe and Companies Reinvesting in Themselves

An analogy from the book is Robinson Crusoe, which is a prime example of how this type of investing can lead to success.

As a compulsive wanderer who went out of his comfort to the sea, Crusoe got stranded on a remote island, his utmost priorities were basic necessities — feeding himself. To do so, he first tried catching fish using merely bare hands. It turns out the method was too clumsy and it didn’t work reliably.

Eventually, Crusoe managed to build effective fishing tools which helped decrease the time he needed to spend on fishing. He made the achievement under the risk of staving — at first, he caught fewer fish during the reinvestment period, as he prioritized constructing fishing tools over fishing. However, after getting the tool built, Crusoe was able to catch fish in a more efficient manner than using bare hands, which ended up saving his life.

The takeaway from this story is, investors need to tolerate initial setbacks so as to gain. Losing short-term can occasionally gain advantages for the long term that justifies the initial loss.

The equivalent in terms of stock investing is that companies that demonstrate a high ratio of reinvested profits might be good investment. For example, Alibaba announced reinvesting its profits into the new business lines despite operating loss. Companies that do this well may make it more efficient, ending up being successful via a roundabout route, just like Robinson Crusoe with his fishing tools.

Value Investing Is Better For Human Well-Being

“Short-term market forecasts are poison and should be kept locked up in a safe place, away from children and also from grown-ups who behave in the market like children.”—Warren Buffett

I have discussed how value investing involves suffering initial losses which may indirectly lead to financial benefits. In terms of personal well-being, in turns out value investing is better too.

According to the book, The Education of a Value Investor, one advantage of value investing is that it is better for mental health—the investment is not founded on bubbles or speculation, so we would sleep better at night.

“The faster Wall Street runs, the more you should slow down and step back from that madness.”—Jason Zweig

As informed by Guy Spier, the author of the book, the human brain can become intoxicated when dealing with money. The author calls this cocaine brain:

“Cocaine brain: the intoxicating prospect of making money can arouse the same reward circuits in the brain that are stimulated by drugs.”

Owing to the limited will power we have, the intensity of the financial world — signified by short-term speculative strategies — aren’t really suitable for our human mind . We are easily overwhelmed by irrational optimism or pessimism if we make financial decisions frequently. As a result, unwise decisions are often made. It is wiser to avoid them for better mental well-being.

As a value investing practitioner himself, the author of the book has found value investing helped him become happier, calmer and value true friendship. Value investing has not only made him a better investor, but also a better human being.

On a related note, here’s a quote from the Dalai Lama which reminds us of the importance of staying present and away from speculative means which prevent us from doing so:

When asked what surprised him most about humanity:

“Man. Because he sacrifices health in order to make money. Then, he sacrifices money to recuperate his health, and then he is so anxious about the future that he does not enjoy the present. The result being that he does not live in the present or the future. He lives as if he is never going to die, and then he dies having never really lived.”

— The Dalai Lama

Value Investing is Hard as It Is Against Human Instinct

For every yin, there is a yang️ — as good as value investing sounds to personal well-being, it is against our human instinct. Speculative methods are hard to resist because of our natural instinct to seek immediate gratification, as exploited successfully by brokers. Human beings are designed to prefer shortcuts; we are tempted easily by things that benefit us now.

To succeed, self-awareness is key.

“It doesn’t take anything. It just takes the right attitude.”—Warren Buffett

Value investing, which requires a longer-term horizon, is not an easy feat to achieve at all, but so are many other worthwhile things in life. So, which investment strategy do you prefer — a speculative bet 🌞, or value investment 🌚? I will leave the question to you.

In summary, I have discussed the below:

• The contrast between value investing and speculation.

• Charlie Munger investing in Alibaba as a tough value investment example.

• How value investors stay intelligent amid downturns (examples: Chinese Taoist philosophy reflected in Chinese ETFs, yin-yang symbol, flow state, and exercise of pushing hands).

• How suffering companies (like Alibaba) and people (like Robinson Crusoe) that reinvest in themselves may succeed in the future in a roundabout path.

• How value investing can help with personal well-being (by avoiding short-term speculation that triggers our cocaine brain).

• How challenging value investing can be in implementation as it goes against human instinct of seeking immediate gratification. Maintaining self-awareness is key.

What’s next? Check out the books. This introductory post is by no means comprehensive. A lot more knowledge are covered in the books mentioned. It is important to get informed by reading good books like them before investing.

• The Dao of Capital, by Mark Spitznagel

• The Education of a Value Investor, by Guy Spier

Besides, good habits are essential in nurturing self-awareness.

With that, I wish you a successful journey, in investing, and more importantly, in life.

A small update on Alibaba in December 2024 (after more than 2.5 years), as a reminder on how patient one needs to be, when it comes to value investing 😉:

• Munger’s Daily Journal has trimmed BABA further, from 300,000 to 195,000 shares in Q1 2024 after he has gone

• The stock price of BABA stays roughly the same, but the market cap has been decreased. This could be caused by Alibaba repurchasing its shares.

Another follow-up in February 2025: The stock of Alibaba has aggressively taken off since the last update one to two months ago (after all these years).

Disclaimer: The stocks listed are merely for demonstration of the personal growth-related points instead of investing recommendations and they can be very risky. The above content is for edutainment purpose only. I am not a financial advisor. In case of investing, please consult your own financial advisor first.

Dedicated to the lonely, through this article I would like to share with you the findings from my research — what I figured out from my craving of companionship during these unusually lonely times. I will learn with you:

1. The importance of feeling loved amid challenging times — how being in a secure relationship prevents health issues and aids personal growth.

2. Why the feeling of loneliness kicks in even under a safe environment.

3. Ways that everyone, singles or couples, can use to cope with loneliness.

With references from numerous books and thinkers, let’s dig inwards together so that we can better cope with loneliness, and ultimately, be more capable of loving ourselves and others. ️❤️

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage. — Lao Tzu

The Need for Emotional Bonding in This Inherently Traumatic World

Maslow’s hierarchy of needs suggests that, once we satisfy our needs for the basics — food, water, shelter and security — the most important thing for human beings is a sense of belonging and love; we have to gratify our need for love before we can gratify our need for self-actualization.

This is especially true during other major setbacks, not just COVID-19, as revealed by people who survived the September 11 attacks. According to the book Hold Me Tight, those survivors were much better off 18 months later if they felt emotionally in touch with someone close. Survivors who were in safe relationships even seemed better off than before the attacks, as if the challenge had facilitated self growth, whereas isolated survivors suffered from crippling flashbacks and depression.

True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost. — Charles Caleb Colton

Indeed, it turns out that loneliness can cause illness and even death. The UK’s National Health Service estimates that lonely people are 30 percent more likely to die sooner. Loneliness, says the NHS, increases the risk of severe strokes, as well as conditions such as depression and dementia.

Therefore, we do need emotional connections to deal with this inherently traumatic world.

Human Beings Crave Social Connections by Evolutionary Nature

Looking back from our human history, feeling lonely is an evolutionary trait, as our need for company kept us safe from predators.

According to the book Loneliness, for our early human ancestors, being separated from a circle or tribe of familiar people was alarming. Being a part of such groups, i.e. safety in numbers, was typical in the ancient days, to ensure predators are kept away so that children can be safely raised.

As living alone was a deadly proposition for our ancestors, these feelings of loneliness are hardwired into our brains. As studied by the neuroscientist author, the shameful feeling we have towards loneliness is still part of our biological wiring today and can show up even under a safe living environment.

The Zen Buddhist book How to Love goes on to explain that a relationship where partners share common aspirations, dreams and connecting on a deep emotional level is the only cure for loneliness.

Having a Right Mix of Relationships Makes Us Less Lonely in a More Healthy Way

So, is having a close partner the solution? For some, yes, but to my surprise, only 17 percent of married couples are happy with their marriage. Therefore, don’t be fixated into thinking that we can only be happy with a lover by our side. Instead, try to take priority away from intimate relationships. Our happiness should not totally depend on a lover.

In fact, according to the book Together, to be happy, one has to have a good mix of inner and outer circles. The author tells us to think of our relationships in circular groupings. The closest thing to us is our inner circle. Less close are our outer circles, consisting of friends and casual acquaintances.

Although having a close inner circle is essential, it is not all. Sometimes loneliness can be paradoxically caused by our closest friendships. Specifically, when we prioritize those closest to us, that is, our romantic partners, we can neglect our broader friendships and our need for collective connections. Therefore, the author states that we need a balance of different relationships from these circles to lead a fulfilling life.

3 Tips to Cope with Loneliness with or without a Partner

As discussed, our inner circle or partner isn’t everything — having a meaningful and warm experience with a family member, a friend, or even a stranger is also love. All that it takes is initiating a connection with another human being, and there will be love.

The first tip is from It’s Not You which informs us of a way to fully experience such love —expanding your love circle with loving-kindness meditation. To perform it, think of somebody close that you love and wish them happiness by saying a caring mantra. For example:

May you be happy. May you be free from suffering.

Spend a little time repeating the mantra as you think about the person. After doing this, repeat it again with another person in mind, somebody you’re not that close to. This will enable you to expand your love circle and be grateful to the people meaningful to you. This will also make you a more compassionate and calmer human being.

The second tip from this book is treat yourself as you would a dear friend. Being compassionate with yourself or self-compassion is a tremendously valuable trait. By treating yourself with compassion, you will greatly improve the relationship with yourself and therefore with others, including a potential lover.

How can you be kind with yourself? The next time you feel left out, lonely or sad, just imagine your best friend feels the same way you do and take comfort as you would with this friend.

While it may seem strange to consider a “relationship” with yourself, it is the most important relationship you will ever have. Learning to love and value yourself is essential to happiness and is also the first step in maintaining relationships with others.

The third tip is from The Art of Living Alone and Loving It — build a “self-esteem scrapbook” by filling it with things that make you smile, such as messages from friends. At the beginning of the author’s scrapbook is a list she made of her best qualities, followed by things like letters of appreciation and support messages she received after her divorce. A scrapbook like this can be greatly comforting when negative feelings start to creep in.

Never underestimate the time we spend alone with ourselves. Only after we are capable of treating ourselves with self-compassion can we foster our love with our partner, improve relationships with others, which in turns strengthens ourselves to better cope with challenges including loneliness.

In summary, we discussed the health impact of being lonely during tough times, why it is normal for us human beings to feel lonely by our evolutionary nature so that we fulfill our natural need to connect, why it is better to love through a mix of social circles instead of just one circle, as well as 3 tips to cope with loneliness with or without a partner:

1. Expand your love circle with loving-kindness meditation so that you are more aware of the love that surrounds you.

2. Be kind to yourself as you would a dear friend.

3. Build a self-esteem scrapbook of comforting memories.

That being said, don’t forget to reach out to people as you’ve just learned the importance of that. One bonus tip from my recent experience is joining a close community with your characteristics where you can talk to like-minded people and feel safe opening up about yourself. For myself, I’ve tried event-hosting websites where I’ve joined several speaking groups which I’m interested in, as well as getting to know a very good new friend of mine who connects with me on an emotional level, sharing similar values as I do… :)

With that, I wish both you and I are well-equipped with the ability to love despite the current social distancing circumstances, turning merely being lonely into joyfully alone.

Life’s greatest happiness is to be convinced we are loved. — Victor Hugo

What’s next? Check out the book references I have linked above to expand on areas you would like to learn more about.

Stay loved.❤️

We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not an act but a habit.  — Aristotle

To improve the relationship with ourselves and better achieve our new-year goals, forming good habits is a great start. (Oh yes, happy new year, my friend 😊)

In this post, I’m going to share with you:

• What a habit is (cue-routine-reward loop).

• Why we need to beware of fixed engagement in habitual behaviors.

• Ways to break bad habits and more easily stick to good ones.

Let’s move inwards and begin the journey of watering ourselves with good habits!

What Makes up a Habit

We, human beings, have a conscious mode and an unconscious one — when faced with a challenge, the conscious one takes over; when tired, the unconscious one does instead.

The latter is like living on autopilot, it feels like someone else is the driver instead of us. In that state, things get easily done without willpower, thanks to our brains having an unconscious decision-making mechanism so that we can take care of routine tasks. And habits can help us reach that effortless state.

According to the book, The Power of Habit, habits are loops composed of a cue, a routine and a reward which save us from using efforts.

Cue-routine-reward loops can be found in any habits. Firstly, an external cue is sensed, like a ringing alarm clock. An overall activity of the brain increases as it determines what habit is suitable for the condition.

Secondly, a routine is activated, meaning the activity a person is used to doing when this particular cue is encountered. An example is rushing to the washroom brushing teeth while the brain is on autopilot.

Eventually comes the reward. It could be a sensation of success. For instance, a soothing feeling inside the mouth owing to the clean teeth. An overall spike is created again in the brain activity as it registers the activity completion, strengthening the relationship among the cue, routine and reward.

This crucial process allows the brain to carry out routine tasks efficiently, conserving energy for more important ones.

Why Bad Habits Can Be Devastating

Chains of habit are too light to be felt until they are too heavy to be broken.  — Warren Buffett

While good habits can improve our lives, bad ones can be devastating. According to the book, Outwitting the Devil, danger arises when habits like drinking starts becoming a regular way of life instead of an irregular activity. One could be badly affected by such fixed engagement in habitual behaviors which the author terms the law of hypnotic rhythm.

Although the law applies to both positive and negative habits, we ought to be very mindful of bad ones as they can devastatingly affect our well-being. For instance, if there is no limiting on the intake of food, a lot of illnesses can be caused. As bad habits like overeating are developed, our own body condition worsens overtime, and eventually, we may be stripped of our own potentials to accomplish other goals in life.

Break Away from Bad Habits by Making Commitments

From the book Design Your Future, the disruption of ingrained habits does not necessarily require giving up all things one enjoys. Instead, it is about building a more healthy relationship with things like entertainment, and a way to do that is making commitments. For example, if you are a smartphone addict, try declaring the work desk a smartphone-free area for two weeks just for fun. For alcoholics, why not accept a challenge of refraining from drinking for one month? By doing so, we can reclaim ourselves from compulsive behavior, and only do those things when we really want to do them.

Substitute Bad Habits with Good Keystone Habits

More strategies on how one can break bad habits are offered in the book The Power of Habit.

Remember the cue-routine-reward loop we just discussed? A simple way to fix bad habits is substituting something else for the bad part in a routine while keeping cue and reward the same. Let’s say, if a cue causes you to eat junk food, replace it with healthier-yet-tasty alternatives through which you may still have the same reward of a feel-good sensation.

On top of this, consider incorporating keystone habits into our routine where possible.

Keystone habits, as defined by Charles Duhigg:

Small changes or habits that people introduce into their routines that unintentionally carry over into other aspects of their lives.

One example is exercising which could bring other associated benefits like a better body and feel-good endorphin that automatically breaks other bad habits such as relying on alcohol to relieve oneself from stress.

Cling to Good Habits Effortlessly with Autosuggestion

While starting a good habit may be easy, sticking to it is often an uneasy task and sometimes really frustrates us. When we want to give up, what should we do?

According to the book Napoleon Hill’s Golden Rules: The Lost Writings, when in the most difficult early stages of forming a new habit, autosuggestion can help.

Spend a little time multiple times a day imagining the process of waking up full of energy and being able to easily spring out of bed. While visualizing, picture every single detail, such as yawning out loud, stretching both arms before fully rising out of bed. Thanks to autosuggestion turning visualized thoughts into bodily actions, it no longer takes much effort to wake up early.

Begin Each Morning Well Allowing Good Habits to Follow

Besides autosuggestion, starting small helps. An example is making our bed. Sometimes the simplest of things can be the most effective.

According to the book of literally the same title, Make Your Bed can be a tiny but significant reminder to get the ball rolling and maintain good habits the rest of the day. Don’t look down on something that small. It can have a tremendous effect, which can hugely affect our quality of life.

Personally, there are days in hot summer where I do not need to make my bed, so I also like the idea of placing a cup near my bed as a reminder — when I wake up seeing it, it would be hard to forget drinking water first thing in the morning.

When You Feel Discouraged…

A bit of encouragement from our final book, The Power of Bad, in case you find replacing bad habits with good ones discouraging — Don’t get angry at yourself if you slip up one day during the process. Simply try to hit your mark again the next few days.

The author suggests one should aim for 4 positives for every 1 negative instead of perfection. This allows for a more accurate perspective on one’s overall success and prevents one setback from affecting the overall mood.

Acknowledge disappointment is a normal part of the process and adopt a positive mindset towards your self-improvement journey.

The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. Same amount of work. — Carlos Castaneda

In conclusion, the pandemic has allowed more time for ourselves, which can only be good if we form good habits to develop a good relationship with ourselves.

By learning about cue-routine-reward loops, adopting techniques like challenging ourselves with commitments, substituting bad habits with good keystone habits, sticking to good habits using autosuggestion, ‘making our bed’ first thing in the morning, as well as not aiming for perfection, we can gain better control of ourselves.

Hope this helps. What’s next? Check out the book references I have linked above to expand on areas you would like to learn more about.

Once again, happy 2022, my friend. I wish you a great year ahead with this post. 🙂❤️

This post explores:

• Ways of living and thinking that enable us to not only survive but to grow through the worst situations

• Extreme crises from war times with inspiring messages on how to weather the storm

• Being negative in head, positive in heart

Let’s learn and grow through crises and trauma from a number of book references and a personal experience which I would like to share with you all.

Major Anomalies Require Revolutionary Adaptation

First, let’s define major setbacks or crises. From psychologist Dr. Jordan Peterson’s book, Map of Meaning, anomalies that are too big to fit into our current worldview can cause a downright crisis. He states that anomalies easily force us to be adaptive, and sometimes even automatically. Where normal adaptation is required for minor anomalies, such as skipping the broken elevator and instead taking the stairs, revolutionary adaptation, however, is required for major anomalies, such as getting laid off after a successful business meeting due to a total misunderstanding of the job role.

These desperate encounters with the unknown leave us no choice but to change how we think about the world and ourselves. It might even require a complete overhaul of our behaviors, values, and goals to adapt to the realization, resulting in a social crisis on the cultural level, and an extreme psychological crisis on the individual level.

The First Step — Let Go of Guilt

So, how to deal with major setbacks in life? If you believe you are responsible for the crisis you are in, the first step is not letting your guilt take over you.

From the book Didn’t See That Coming: Putting Life Back Together When Your World Falls Apart, one must stay away from guilt, no matter how hard it seems — clinging to guilt or beating yourself up only makes problems worse as that keeps you in crisis mode longer. To improve the situation, one must let go — relieve the self-loathing with self-love.

The amount of love needed to relieve oneself from guilt can be enormous, and people around you might not be supportive either. However, to overcome crises, one must be brave and constantly stay mindful of self-loathing emotions like guilt.

Survive Darkest Times with Your Meaning of Life

Let’s take a look at one of the worst crisis examples during the World War II.

From Man’s Search for Meaning, which is a book that offers insights into how Nazi concentration camp survivors survived such unsurvivable situations.

The cure was to find the meaning of life.

Despite the miserable conditions in the prison, those prisoners still tried, to the best of their ability, to live according to their values.

For instance, their spirituality was one of the things which couldn’t be deprived from them. While those prisoners might have to give up performing their rituals, they could still choose to live up to their high moral standards, like giving food to those in greater need when they were hungry also.

Those who were able to find at least a little bit of meaning and happiness from life were often better able to survive than others.

Be Mindful of Depression

Besides, as we deal with the worst, we need to be mindful of the harmfulness of something too, which is depression, as negative thoughts might attack us from nowhere when we are down.

From the book The Art of Happiness by Dalai Lama, depressed people often think in a distorted way — they may focus solely on things that are negative, like financial difficulty or work trouble, failing to notice they actually have a lot to be grateful about, like a pleasant family or healthy body. Studies have shown that people are happier if such distorted thinking is corrected.

Discipline and effort sustained over the long term are required to eliminate negative habits, feelings, and attitudes.

The Dalai Lama states it took him decades of practice to cultivate a profound appreciation for Buddhist principles. One should not seek an easy remedy — his consistent daily prayers work as reminders and wishes of how to live life well.

Treat Obstacles Not as Failure, but Stepping Stones to a Better You

On the other hand, people don’t react to a crisis the same way. Some people become shattered. Others overcome the pain, evolving a better version of themselves, one that is stronger and more resilient than before.

From the book Mindset by Dr. Carol Dweck, people with a fixed mindset hinder their self-development due to the fear of failure and a belief in innate talent. On the other hand, people with a growth mindset train hard and work hard to finally realize their full potential. We can develop a growth mindset by confronting our own beliefs and attitudes.

We need to foster a growth mindset to come through crises better and stronger.

So don’t lose heart when things don’t go your way. Surrendering is like succumbing to a fixed mindset. The path to cultivating a growth mindset always involves attempting different approaches even after failing, until one that works for you is found.

Confront the Brutal Facts while Retaining Faith

As an example, let us look at how a high-ranking US officer captured at the Vietnam war turned around his misfortune.

From the book, Good to Great by Jim Collins, Stockdale Paradox is named after the US admiral, James Stockdale, detained at the infamous “Hanoi Hilton” prison during the Vietnam War. Having been mercilessly tortured by the enemy, Stockdale never knew if he could ever get home. No matter how frightful his circumstances were, he never lost faith that somehow he would unite with his family.

“I never doubted not only that I would get out, but also that I would prevail in the end and turn the experience into the defining event of my life, which, in retrospect, I would not trade.”

However, unlike optimists who mindlessly believed they would get home by Christmas and later died broken-hearted when that did not happen, Stockdale credited his survival to not only retaining faith but also confronting the facts of his dire situation.

“This is a very important lesson. You must never confuse faith that you will prevail in the end — which you can never afford to lose — with the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of your current reality, whatever they might be.”

To turn adversity into success, one needs to embrace the principles from the Stockdale Paradox, in which one must have unfaltering faith in order to prevail in the end, no matter the challenges, while simultaneously having the discipline to confront the most brutal facts of the reality. Productive change starts when one confronts the brutal facts.

Be Negative in Head, Positive in Heart

Taking a step further, by coincidence, I recently attended an international speaking contest, in which a speaker introduced Head-Heart Thinking, which she explained is the synergistic state of a human being.

Head-Heart Thinking suggests an ideal state of living — instead of merely being positive or negative, we need to let our head and our heart work synergistically by having the right allocation of both, more specifically being positive in the heart because our heart is good at being uncritical and accepting all things as true, while negative in the head because our head is good at being critical and coming up with solutions to deal with negativity positively.

By letting our heads and heart do what they are good at doing, we can truly harness our potentials.

Thanks for reading. I hope this inspired you. What’s next? Check out the book references I have linked above on each of the specific areas that you want to learn more about.

And, if there had to be a one-line takeaway from my research, I would say:

Think for the worst; live the best we can positively.

One last bit of motivation — being at a disadvantage with few resources is in fact a proven recipe for success (according to the book The Power of Broke), so don’t lose faith. I hope you and I can see through that and pass our toughest tests of life. Take care! ❤️

Those Major Setbacks in Life was originally published on Curious.

I will go through it starting with what it is, why we need it and how to achieve it with a number of book references. Hopefully, people would be more aware of the pros and cons of empathy on ourselves and the society. Let’s get started!

The Meaning of Empathy

Empathetic communication means listening with full attention to understand the feelings and perspective of another person.

So what is the word empathy? From the book Verbal Judo, empathy comprises of the Latin prefix em- (meaning “to see through”) and the Greek suffix pathy (meaning “the other’s eye”); hence empathy literally stands for seeing through another person’s eyes. From this angle, empathy is about taking the perspective of somebody else, whether he’s your friend or your employer. Whatever the relationship, empathy is critical.

Empathy does not equal sympathy. It is not required to be fond of the other person to be empathetic; you just have to see things from his side. In fact, empathy is a broad term which could mean cognitive, emotional or compassionate empathy, but this is out of scope here.

“Empathy, alone stands apart from the continuous traffic between good and evil proceeding within us.” — Eric Hoffer

Why Empathy is Needed

Moving on to the whys. First comes a reason for parents. From the book The War For Kindness, children raised by empathetic parents show more kindness, care for other people, and a better ability to understand others’ emotions.

To the child, being empathetic may be advantageous too. From the book UnSelfie, new-found studies reveal that children with empathy are more successful than their peers who are self-centered, let alone being happier and healthier. These are the benefits of empathy.

One more reason why — empathy could save lives. On a related note, click the play button below to listen to this sad but beautiful ballad. Please relax but keep an eye on the lyrics, particularly the last verse.

Lyrics from the song, Fine on the Outside (its movie, When Marnie Was There, was one of my favourites which touched me a lot by the way)

So I just sit in my room after hours with the moon.
And think of who knows my name.
Would you cry if I died.
Would you remember my face?

This song depicts someone who is depressed and might even have suicidal thoughts as hinted by those lyrics.

I brought this up because the author of one of the books I just mentioned was asked to deal with an attempt at suicide. When he arrived at the scene, he found a man sitting in a bathtub threatening to end his life by electrocution using an electric heater. The author saved him by communicating with empathy.

Quick question. Do you think the author told him:

1. his life is precious and he should not do it. Or

2. there are better ways to commit suicide?

(Hmm… tough one huh.)

In such cases, the majority of people would persuade by telling the person he should not do it as life is priceless. However, this is arguing from the viewpoint of somebody to whom suicide seems irrational. It’s an argument that lacks, you know what, empathy.

Therefore, the author told him how terrible electrocution is as a means to commit suicide. He even exaggerated the horribleness. He then continued listing a number of less painful ways to commit suicide. This unconventional method defused the tension and, soon, the man agreed to leave the bathtub!

How to Acquire Empathy

Then, how can we be more empathetic?

One way is meditate, and a memorable method involves using the R.A.I.N. rain approach. From the book Radical Compassion:

• R is recognize, recognize red flags such as rushing to get things done.

• A is allow, allow yourself to experience what is happening without judgment.

• I is investigate, investigate why feeling this way and what you may need to feel better.

• Finally, N is nurture, nurture yourself by delivering a message of support inward such as “we can do this,” or “you will be alright”.

Again: Recognize, Allow, Investigate and Nurture. RAIN meditation helps you direct your attention away from the outside and toward your inner self in order that you can be more empathetic.

Empathy Is Not All Good

However, for every yin there is a yang; empathy could also cause problems. From the book Against Empathy, empathy could cause people to make irrational decisions that ends up hurting people instead of helping.

The book lists a number of concerns. One of them being empathy focusing on short-term results, which leads to bad decisions.

For example, when kids want a toy so much that they shed tears, most parents will feel the urge of empathy and just buy whatever their children so desperately want. However, most parents are also aware that children could be spoiled if they give in every time.

Consider another example how organizations try to end the poverty, hunger, and disease which plague other countries in the world. Generally, they target short-term solutions, making those countries dependent on foreign aid, thus slowing down the development of long-term economic reform.

This is where our empathy pays more attention to the present and not to any future results.

From Individual Empathy to Social Empathy

On the other hand, after one is equipped with empathy, the next goal would be for the society to achieve it also.

From the Book of the same title, Social Empathy is at the core of public policies which improve the lives of people. Granting everyone the right to vote, establishing a social security system are a few of the examples. What they share in common is understanding and recognizing the lives of others by considering the broader context as well as the social and historical events that shape the present.

In summary, being empathetic for others is actually good for ourselves and the society, if it is done in a rational way.

What’s next? Check out the book references I have linked above on each of the specific areas that you want to learn more.

I hope this post gives you some actionable ideas on empathy. May we all work on being more empathetic, if you think it is suitable to you. 😊

Communicate with Empathy was originally published on Curious.

This is an article of work ethics written to encourage my dear young colleague and remind myself of loving what we do.

You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life. — Steve Jobs

What good is it to live each day without a sense of purpose? For all ‘uninteresting’ things that we do now, we must give passion, even if we cannot see the benefit of doing so. That is because we don’t know how the dots will connect in the future. However, they will never do, if we don’t even take heart in living, in doing what we are doing now, right at this second.

If we embrace the mindset and belief from 《敬業與樂業》* , which is ‘any work should be respected and fully engaged in doing it’, even for work that doesn’t interest us, we would still pour our dedication and love into it without hesitation. As long as we practice Respect Work (敬業) to stay passionate, we open the door welcoming the dots to connect.

*《敬業與樂業》 is a classic Chinese speech by 梁啓超 (Liang Qi Chao) that is literally translated to ‘Respect Work (敬業) and Enjoy Work (樂業)’.

“If it’s something you really are interested in, you’ll quickly build the momentum to complete it in no time at all.” — Neil Patel

Even if we aren’t interested in our work to build such momentum, our Respect Work attitude (敬業) will automagically build it.

Besides, we may also rely on techniques to trick our minds to work more enthusiastically, such as these five:

• Make good use of deadlines to better us. When we almost get to the end of something, we often work harder as there might not be another chance to.

• Create a task list and allocate dedicated time slots within our schedule for each task. Once these arrangements are made, we will have the desire and urge to finish it, to get it off our chest.

• Break down tasks into even more swallowable chunks. We have a tendency to be lazy. If a task looks too hard, we might lose the energy to do it. (Nothing is hard. It just ‘looks’ so.) Build momentum by starting with the easiest of the chunks.

• Do not multitask. Do not distract easily over other tasks (unless the other task is very small for really quick completion.)

• Unless absolutely necessary, do not promise to work on a new task immediately; instead, postpone it (politely). There, we have a new deadline to motivate us to finish the current task more eagerly.

It is important that we stay enthusiastic for good things to come, e.g. inspiration. As we work hard on something, our geniuses inside will come out of a sudden. During such moment of clarity, we shall ride on the amazing power and let the tremendous passion guide us to our dream.

“Genius is one percent inspiration, ninety-nine percent perspiration.” — Thomas Edison

So, let’s embrace Respect Work (敬業) and make use of techniques. The end goal is to convince our minds to love what we do to live each day purposefully and fruitfully.

Stay alive!

1. Keep learning and strengthening ourselves

“At fifteen, I had my mind bent on learning. At thirty, I stood firm. At 40, I had no doubts. At 50, I knew the decrees of Heaven.…” — The Analects

This is a popular Chinese saying by Confucius. In my opinion, it is a hint to young people aged between 15 and 30 what they should do — learning passionately like you will never be able to learn again, and what they should work towards — being able to stand firm and carry the world.

When I was new to the society, I made big and small mistakes, a lot of them. Many times I was afraid of making them as I was overly concerned about how others would think of me. However, it is only through hard lessons that we can humbly learn and grow up becoming better persons. Therefore, don’t be afraid of any bad or good experiences. Don’t be afraid to feel. Try to step into whatever profession or area we want to be in as early as possible, because we will only get better with time.

2. Dream bigger when there is no baggage

“It’s rare that you see an artist in his 30s or 40s able to really contribute something amazing.” — Steve Jobs

This is a less known quote from the famous co-founder of Apple. He wrote it at age 29 while turning 30. I agree with him that some of the most creative and world-changing work is from young people — they often have nothing to fear at their age, so they don’t consider risks. We will have a lot more things to consider or even worry after we become mature, that is, turning 30.

Youth is gold and innocence is bliss. We better work hard towards our dream while we are still in our twenties where there is no baggage. So, my next advice to young people is setting a tighter deadline on achieving our highest goals; work madly, unconditionally towards it like we will never get a chance to do what we love again.

3. Cherish our parents and those who love us

“We never know the love of a parent till we become parents ourselves.” — Henry Ward Beecher

When I was young, I naively took family love for granted. I did not realize parents’ health and well-being could change all of a sudden until my dad left me. As young people begin chasing dreams, there will be less and less time for other things, but please don’t overlook the importance of family love like I did. We should care about parents and those who love us while we still can. Cherish the time with them while they are with us and well.

Life is fragile. It is possible that we may miss our final chance to tell our loved ones we love them. So, wake up to this fact early. Instead of regretting later, love one another now like it is the last day on earth.

In summary, my top 3 things young people in their 20s should do are:

1. Keep learning and strengthening ourselves in order to stand firm and carry the world.

2. Dream bigger and work madly to achieve highest goals when there is no baggage.

3. Cherish our parents and those who love us imagining it is the last time meeting each other.

These are my 2 cents. To all young people reading. I hope you find them useful and live a fruitful life!